There's a Fine, Fine Line
by DJ Nox
Summary: Producers songfic, to the Avenue Q song "There's a Fine, Fine Line". Max's thoughts shortly after he finds out that Leo and Ulla are together. Slash, MaxLeo.


_"There's a Fine, Fine Line"_

Author's note: Yeah. Out of my writer's block, I bring to you my very first songfic. I had just seen Avenue Q for the first time, and after re-listening to "There's a Fine, Fine Line", began to think…this would be perfect for a songfic. A bit later, I decided on doing a Max POV, as it fit quite nicely. So yeah. Enjoy.

Just an extra note: To my delightment, I saw Hunter Foster in The Producers last Thursday, and he was wonderful. Not Roger, but nonetheless wonderful. So yeah. Go see him. XD

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_There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;  
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;  
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.  
There's a fine, fine line between love  
And a waste of time._

The saying goes, 'The early bird catches the worm'. But no one takes into account the time and effort it may take to get that worm, and the fact that other birds may be able to get it easier. For instance, say one bird got to the worm first. Yet, the worm was either hiding, or under something…or anything like that, and the bird had to spend time figuring out a plan to get that worm, waiting, luring it out… And just as it's ready to put its plan into action and the worm comes into view, another bird sweeps by and grabs it. No matter how much effort the first bird put into it, as soon as the worm was ripe for the picking, any other bird could just come by and get it easily, having done nothing.

_There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;  
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."  
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,  
But there's a fine, fine line between love  
And a waste of your time._

I wonder if I really did waste my time. Sure, I've got a loyal business partner. I've got a friend, which is more than I've ever had in that department in my entire life. And yet…I wasn't satisfied with just that…because I had fallen in love. Sure, I've had my share of crushes and lusting throughout my life, but never have I actually fallen in love with someone before. And now, god knows how many years after my dating prime…here I am. In love with someone who is now completely unobtainable. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining. I don't even know why I got my hopes up in the first place. Since the moment I met him, I was obsessed with his boyish looks, his shy nature, his quiet voice…and I knew that I wanted to be the one to care for him, as no one else did. I wanted to be the one to show him what love was…and for him to show me too. For months, I had planned; I had become closer to him…just waiting until the right moment…until I was sure things wouldn't go wrong. Perhaps it was my fault for waiting too long.

_And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.  
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.  
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door  
And walk away..._

Now, I look at him. All this talk of friendship, comradery, nothing ever coming between us…and now he's just found the woman of his dreams, so to speak. A gorgeous Swedish blonde bombshell. Even now, a month after it happened, I still torture myself, wondering if things would have been different if I had not gone to secure the theater with the Shuberts, or brought him with me, or anything…something, so they wouldn't have spent time alone together. But then, I realize…maybe it was inevitable. I couldn't stop it from happening. He's so happy with her…the lovesick look in his eyes when he is around her brings so much pain to me. I know that I'm jealous, I can freely admit it. And yet, I can't help but still long for him. It's driving me crazy…I know, I need to give it up…he'll never be mine. It was foolish to ever think that I had a chance.

_There's a fine, fine line between together and apart.  
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.  
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime..._

It's times like this that I don't even know who to be angry at. His girlfriend, for stealing him away so easily when I was putting so much work into having him be mine? Him, for putting me aside so easily when she came into the picture? Or myself, for not acting in time? I wish I had done things differently. Maybe things could have turned out some other way…I don't even know. But now, it's too late to do anything but think about what could have been. Sometimes I think about how close I was…and so quickly, he slipped away. Maybe I'm never meant to find love. Maybe it really all was a waste of time.

_There's a fine, fine line between love...  
And a waste of time._


End file.
